Adult Jokes

I found these few jokes are really funny and meaningful?? Just to share with all of you! (not written by myself)

A Dream

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”

With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.” That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife.

With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled – “The Meaning of Dreams”.


Do you remember

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?”, she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why are you down here at this time of night?”.

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly. “Yes I do” she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car having sex?” “Yes, I remember” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?” “I remember that too” she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, “I would have gotten out of jail today”.


Sleeper at train

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.”

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got a better idea… let’s pretend we’re married.”

“Why not,” giggles the woman. “Good,” he replies. “Get your own blanket.”


Dictionary

DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY:
A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT:
A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND:
A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
A woman’s feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

IRRITATING HABIT:
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC:
A man’s term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY:
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.


:: Taken from Afunworld, get more jokes at there…

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8 Responses to “Adult Jokes”

  1. pegasus Says:

    damm funny..
    but what is adult about these jokes?

  2. DSvT Says:

    No meant for small children, and hey won’t understand oso…

  3. pegasus Says:

    ohh then u don’t know today’s children…. they often know more things than we do.

  4. DSvT Says:

    all polluted by movies

  5. pegasus Says:

    i would say it starts right from cartoons… but ya TV and movies are big influences.

  6. smita Says:

    please send me all adults jokes as i need it m sexy 23 female from belgaum 9902090268 is my number

  7. Vagina Licker Says:

    Licking is ultimate goal


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