Quarrelling kinda waste of time, I think we should not waste time for this activity anymore. By the way, “Quarrelling” would not gives solution but hatred. Everybody would not feel happy after fighting, argument or quarrelling. We will have negative feeling towards the person, worst case, we just refuse to see/talk with that person anymore. agree with me?
In christianity, they have a quiet time every morning, or before go to bed. Basically, this is the time for them to confess to god for wisdom or for forgiveness. I think we all should have this practise every single moment.
There some benefit to have quiet time:
1. Quiet time before quarrelling – Just before you wish to show your feeling/anger to others, please hold. Think of the issue again, re-consider it. Maybe it is just a tiny issue and can be solve by some discussion. Maybe it is just mis-understanding issue, solve it by repeat explaination. You will found that quarrelling is not a good choice for you.
2. Quiet time during quarrelling – Take a break, stop the argument and you should calm down and think. What the point of the argument? Any benefit from this activity? What is the side effect of it? And why should you start the quarrelling session? When you think of these few questions, I think you should be able to find out the solution of the problem.
3. Quiet time after quarrelling – Please think, it maybe is our mistake, our mis-judge lead to all the problem/argument. Please recall that, do you hurt others with your words?
There is a story about this topic…
A father teached his son who always argue/quarrel with other boys in school to hammer a nail onto the house fence. Within a month, the fence of the house is full of the nails. Then the father ask the boy, “if you already forgive the person, you got to take out a nail from the fence,ok?”… The boy started to remove the nail from the fence day by day when he forgive others or when he get consensus with others. One day, the boy tell his father “I have remove all the nails from the fence!”… His father is happy that his son already learn how to forgive others. but he say to his son” even though the nail had been removed, but there are holes left behind on the fence. Son, when you argue/quarrel with someone, you hurt them at that time, even if you have the common understanding after that, the holes is still there. Think before you act.”
Friend, Please think before you act.