As if…

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
6. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
7. Why is it called building when it is already built?
8. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
9. If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
10. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
11. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ???
12. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???

:: Taken from forward email …

Question & Answer (Good one!)

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.    

Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward… forward… backward… forward… backward….  forward… stop and eject.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
Answer: The boy’s hand.

Q:   Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked “Why”?
A:   The animals told him………..”Your tail is in the front”.

 

:: Taken from forwarded email .

Adult Jokes

I found these few jokes are really funny and meaningful?? Just to share with all of you! (not written by myself)

sms from heaven…

I received a sms from a familiar phone number, I knew, it come from heaven
~ by DSvT (1980 ~ )

You’re not that bad…
I’m the one who act bad…
Thank for loving me!

Essay Writing – My lost naked girlfriend…

 

Ted is 7-yr old and he’s very bad in essay writing.
One day the teacher asked the class to write a 500-word essay base on any title they like.
Ted thought real hard and finally he started his essay:

Titled: Composition – my lost naked girlfriend…

My work location

I kinda like my work location, it located near to the highway which is easy for me to drive home… And it’s location is surrounding by all the branded brand company, such like Sony, Matsushita, Carrier, Denso and else…

I just love to work at this company…

Salary requisition letter & answer – Example!

I think most of the people do not satisfy with the salary you have currently, So, if you wish to write a letter to your boss, you may refer to the letter below for reference…

Essay writing – my lost cat

Ted is 7-yr old and he’s very bad in essay writing.
One day the teacher asked the class to write a 500-word essay base on any title they like.
Ted thought real hard and finally he started his essay:

Shortcut in language

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be a little bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die la!!!

MSN, AIM, Mirc, Yahoo!, Goolge talk…

Chat-Room’s World

I think most of the people own a MSN ID and log on to MSN for chatting daily… I have my MSN ID longtime before >> alankllim [a] hotmail [dot] com…